its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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