I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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