Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
