life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize