Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Shame is for Republicans.
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