So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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