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May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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