dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
