Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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