new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
