We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
wow bdsm is so cute
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
