i would punch a child for taco bell
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
