Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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