Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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