For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
