did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
