I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
