How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
