Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
