Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was like eating out sand paper
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we should paint friendship bongs
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