Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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