Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
These tits shall not be calmed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
