i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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