i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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