So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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