I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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