are you still at the devil's house?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
