ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize