dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
