Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she peed on how many people?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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