if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
