I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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