I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just puked most of my soul out..
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