I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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