Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
