i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We just shotgunned beers for America
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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