the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
