Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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