brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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