Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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