She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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