i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
