Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
