Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
