Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
