6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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