Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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