Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
