Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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