i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
