the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
