clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
