can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
