I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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