i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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