This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
