Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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