Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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