This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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