wanna go halves on a baby?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so let's talk penis.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
