Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
