Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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