Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
