You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
