no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
